TUAOA: Pretty Painful and The Riders On The Storm
by lulamaemobster
Summary: There's a killer on the road.
1. Killer On The Road

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors Episode 14 Beulah McGillicuddy**

**While Morristofoxes and lulamaemobster were putting the moves on Hot Stuck Up Bitch and Nerdy Chick Who's Actually As Hot If Not Hotter Than Her Friend But Hasn't Blossomed Yet, the rest of the Ultimate Alliance began enjoying the party. They were schmoozing with the guests and met their favorite actress.**

"**Beulah McGillicuddy?" ravercozy asked. "We're your biggest fans."**

"**Really?" she asked. "You like my work?"**

"**Yes," Adngo714 added. "I loved you in, Viperous Vixens."**

"**Which one?" she asked. **

"**All of them," Uzumakie said. **

"**Even number 14?" she asked.**

"**Especially number 14," Blame Truth said.**

"**Seriously?" she asked. "My own mother wouldn't even see number 14."**

"**Why not," Kage Bijuu asked. "She said it went commercial with number 13."**

"**Not even," Uzumakie said.**

"**I've got a new movie coming out," she said. "It's called Black Darkness, it's about me fighting against a horde of demons from hell."**

"**Great," Kage Bijuu said.**

"**When's it coming out?" ravercozy asked.**

**As they continued to speak to her, Morristofoxes and lulamaemoster were about to turn the heat up on their targets.**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Killer On The Road**

Naruto arrived at the village with Kakashi, Sai and Yamato after his first official S-Class Mission, the hokage debriefed them and he headed home to find the house empty.

"I guess Hinata and the others are home," he figured in his head. "But what about Metaru and the rest?"

As he moved about in his house, he heard some familiar sounds coming from down the hallway. He investigated and came to a door where the sounds came from, he opened it found something he wasn't ready for as he saw Pretty Painful enjoying each other's company. His erection almost poked a hole within his pants as he watched them pleasuring each other, tears began forming within his eyes.

"Naruto?" Hinata said sitting on Ten's face. "You're back, why are you crying?"

"I'm just so happy."

"We'd all be happier if you'd join us," Punku said as Arinbi was giving it to her from behind with a strap-on.

"Oh, you don't have to tell me twice," he said getting undressed.

He found some trouble getting his underwear off as the elastic couldn't stretch over his member, he tried to rip them off but only managed to give himself a painful wedgie.

"Little help?" he asked while digging his underwear out of his ass.

"I got it," Sakura said stepping up.

She tried her hand and pulled on both sides but found that she couldn't remove them either as they slipped out of her hand slick with the juices for the other members of Pretty Painful.

"Yow!" Naruto yelped as the elastic snapped around his waist.

"Sorry, Naruto," she said. "What it is this shit made off?"

"Would you hurry up?" Punku said standing up waiting for him. "I'm losing wood over here."

"Here I'll help," Metaru said pulling her strap-on out of Karin. "Metal Health Jutsu! You grab that side, Sakura, and I'll grab this side then we'll pull."

They worked together to pull them off making sure their hands wouldn't slip but to no avail as the elastic snapped back while they still held onto it causing them to collide with Naruto.

"Ah, bitch," Sakura said holding her head.

"Brutal," Metaru said also holding her head.

"My ribs are broken," Naruto said plainly.

"Oh, I'll heal you," Sakura said.

"No worries," he said. "The fox is taking care of it, we need to focus on getting this underwear off."

That's when Karin cleared her throat to get their attention.

"You think these would help?" she said holding a pair of scissors.

Embarrassed, Naruto, Sakura, and Metaru avoided eye contact with Karin as she solved the problem at hand.

"Boy, Fruit of the Loom sure can make a helluva pair of underwear," she said looking at the tag.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said creating nine clones to make ten Narutos. "You won't need those strap-ons. Now, let's get this shit on!"

"Oh, yeah!" they shouted excitedly as they got ready for him.

Each clone paired off with a girl and started to give them what they were waiting for while he was away, they all were involved in one great erotic show as they found their pleasure from the one they cherished the most. Naruto pounded Sakura's pussy from behind as she ate Hinata's who was on top of Naruto as trying anal sex for the first time. Karin was on her back as Naruto gave it to her and Metaru sat on her face while she sucked Naruto off. Punku was taking it from behind from one Naruto while she sucked another one off while he was on his back as Ten sat on his face. Arinbi was on her back while one Naruto was giving it to her gently and she made out with another Naruto that was laying next to her while Rappu rode him. Meanwhile, Ino and Jazi enjoyed Naruto on their own, they went for the big finish as they faced each other in a circle and made out while each Naruto gave it to them from behind. They shouted his name in a symphony of pleasure as they came, the Narutos came soon after and dispersed sending all of the pleasure to the real Naruto who was still inside Arinbi as he shot his load. The pleasure overloaded his brain and he blacked out falling out of her, they all stood over him as he lied on the floor unconscious with a huge smile plastered across his face.

"Brutal," Metaru said. "We fucked him into a coma."

They all gave each other a kiss as congratulations for how much the pleased Naruto.

"Hey, look," Hinata said. "He's still hard."

The looked at each other and each had the same idea, as they took turns with him.

"Okay," Sakura said. "We'd better get him to bed."

They took him to his room and laid him in his bed, they noticed again that he was still erect and decided to take another turn with him. He woke up the next morning feeling relaxed but his member was very sore, he took a shower then headed downstairs and started making breakfast with the help of his clones. The girls woke up to the smell and came down after taking showers of their own all with the same thoughts in their heads.

"Thank god he has so many bathrooms in this house."

They came down wearing what had to be the sexiest thing he'd ever seen, they each had on one of his black tee shirts over their underwear. If it wasn't for the soreness, he'd have made love to them all right then and there. He settled for the joy he got when they enjoyed his breakfast making a mental note of the scene for when he was ready to take them on again.

"So, what's on tap for today?" he asked joining them as they ate.

"The hokage's still giving us time to get used to the village and being this team together," Arinbi said.

"Cool, anyway I can help?" he asked.

"You could help us work on our teamwork," Rappu said. "I mean each group works together well but as a whole, this is new territory."

"You got it."

They worked together with Naruto and soon they new each other's abilities in and out, Sakura learned that she and Metaru complicated each other well as they no longer had to divide their time in battle and could focus on either healing or combat with each other around. Hinata developed some long range attacks working with Punku in addition to improving her the distance her Byakugan could see greatly while Punku gained a trick or two if she was ever caught in a situation where she had to fight close range. Ten improved her agility and speed when dealing with weapons while Rappu saw an improvement in her weapon skills, Ino taught Jazi how to use different plants for medicinal and lethal purposes while Jazi helped her improve her Mind Controlling Jutsu by having her practice on her. Karin and Naruto taught Arinbi the Rasengan while Arinbi helped them develop their genjutsu although they couldn't use their voices as Arinbi did when she put Shikamaru under to kidnap Naruto. They even cross trained each other, with Hinata learning how to heal quickly due to her natural chakra control, Metaru and Sakura learned weapons techniques and with their enhanced strength, they were able to wield heavy weapons like hammers and axes that shinobi didn't typically use because of their lack of speed and surprise with relative ease while Ten and Rappu began coating their weapons in the poisons Ino developed adding to their lethality while she and Punku learned to sense chakra to a lesser degree than Karin and Jazi learned how to enhance her strength some.

"Wow, you've become quite the force to be reckoned with," Tsuande said as they reported for their first mission. "Wouldn't you say, Naruto?"

"I'm just so happy to be theirs," Naruto said as he wanted to see them receive their first mission. "And not their target."

"You have four medics, two weapons specialists, two long range and close range combat specialists, two poison users, two genjutsu types and a tracker," Tsunade said. "And that's not to mention those of you with at least a working knowledge of each or what Temari and Reggaeku bring to the table. So, are you ready for your first mission?"

"Let's do this," they said as they stood ready for anything.

"Hey, calm down," Tsunade said. "It won't take all of you, just four of you. I'll leave the combinations to you."

They talked amongst themselves and they decided that Metaru, Arinbi, Hinata, Ino would go first, Tsunade handed them their mission scroll and they left immediately, the rest of Pretty Painful were on standby for any other missions of the necessary rank so they just hung out around the village while they waited. Naruto decided that he needed to do some training of his own so he sought out any of his friends for some help while the members of Pretty Painful hung out around Hokage Tower when Anko showed up.

"So, how do you girls like the village?" she asked the members that weren't from the village.

"This village is so lame," Punku said breaking stuff.

"That's coming out of your mission money," Tsunade yelled hearing it in her office.

"Naruto's really the only plus here," Punku added.

"I don't know," Jazi said. "I like the laid back feel of this place, it's a nice change from working for creepy ass Orochimaru."

"Tell me about it," Anko said. "That guy was first class freak and I don't mean in the good way."

"That's right," Rappu said. "You did work for him, what happened? How did you get away?"

Orochimaru was testing Anko's abilities after she received the Curse Mark, she had grown powerful and he felt that she was ready to take the next step in her training. Her final test came when she had to defeat another of his students, when she refused, he wiped her memory and left her for dead.

"It was a miracle that I was found," Anko told them. "After a while, my memory came back and I returned to the village."

"Wait," Punku said. "You mean all I had to do was not kill anyone and he'd have let me go? If I had known that, I wouldn't have killed all of the people I did."

Evening set in and they went back to Naruto's with orders to stay ready so they couldn't indulge themselves in their favorite vice, Naruto. He could see the frustration in their faces as they all sat in his living room and came up with an idea as he created some clones and walked over to them, he got on his knees and began taking off their pants.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked. "The Hokage said…"

"You couldn't do anything," he said with his mischievous grin. "So, don't do anything, I'll take care of it."

Once he got their pants off, he began licking their pussies making them grasp at his head but he just swatted their hands away.

"She said you couldn't do anything," he said without picking his head up from between their legs.

Not able to grab hold of anything, it didn't take long for them to cum. Making sure they didn't move, he began to ease their frustrations even further with every stroke of his member. Still not able to grab hold of anything, they came quickly and the tightening of their wall made each clone cum along for the ride and they dispersed. Able to handle the mass orgasm rushing to his brain a little better, Naruto still struggled to remain conscious.

"Whoo," he said holding his head. "I can actually smell the lights in here."

"What do they smell like?" asked Punku.

"Ginger."

"That's not the lights, Naruto," Karin said. "That's actually the dinner we ate earlier, the kitchen's right there."

"Oh," he said realizing. "Man, what's in these orgasms?"

They all went to bed for the evening as it began raining outside, the sound of the rain drops and the lingering bliss from earlier put them right to sleep. Elsewhere, a family was on the road back to the Village after taking a brief holiday to let their children play around, the combination of the rain and the time of day made for them to be the only people on the road back.

"I'm sorry we lost track of time," the father said to his wife. "The kids just love playing around on the field."

"Don't worry about it," his wife said. "I was too busy enjoying the happiness on their faces and forgot the time myself. I don't think I would've wanted to leave myself if it hadn't begun raining."

As they walked upon the road, they happened upon a stranger who looked as if they were in need of assistance with their cart.

"Need some help?" the father asked.

"It's my cart," the stranger said. "It's stuck in the mud and this weather has made my mule very stubborn."

"I'll see what I can do," the father said turning his back.

"Father, look out!" one of his children shouted.

Before he could turn around, he was stabbed in the back of his neck. Frozen in fear, his family was unable to move as the stranger moved in on them, the last thing they saw was the stranger's eyes.


	2. Tragic Families

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors Episode 19 Playoff Woes**

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors were at their base when they were faced with a crisis, one of their members, lulamaemobster, was in full on EMO mode.**

"**What the hell is the matter with him?" ravercozy asked.**

"**His favorite football team just missed the playoffs," Kage Bijuu said.**

"**Who? Manchester United?" **

"**No, the Steelers," Chewie Cookies answered.**

"**Where are they from, Madrid, Rome?" ravercozy asked confused.**

"**Pittsburgh," Morristofoxes said.**

"**Pittsburgh? I don't think that's in Europe," ravercozy said.**

"**American football," Blame Truth said.**

"**Oh," ravercozy realized. "You mean rugby for pussies."**

"**Hey," Kage Bijuu said. "Don't insult the only sport that we still do better than anyone else. Look at him, though."**

**They watched as a melancholy lulamemobster just sat in a corner holding a Ben Roethlisberger jersey.**

"**This is the second time I watched them miss the playoffs after winning the Super Bowl," he muttered before the pain got too much for him and he shouted to the heavens. "Death, you are my bitch lover!"**

"**We've gotta do something," Adngo714 said.**

"**But what?" asked Uzumakie.**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Tragic Families**

A young couple was walking through the Leaf Village Forest, their destination was the fields for a picnic.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yes, it is," he said as he set the food up.

They ate and just spent their time together until he got to business.

"Do you know why I asked you out on this picnic?"

"Yes," she answered. "You said it was because it was such a beautiful day."

"Well, that's not the reason," he admitted.

"Well, then why?"

"It's because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Are you asking me what I think you're asking me?" she said with a knowing smile.

"Yes, will you marry me?"

She just jumped into his arms and kissed him as she was so happy that she forgot to say yes.

"Well?" he said breaking the kiss.

"Oh, my god," she realized. "Yes. Yes, I will marry you."

They were basking in their joy when they heard what sounded like someone clapping, they looked and found a stranger stepping out of the forest clapping their hands and smiling warmly at them.

"Forgive me for intruding but I was walking through the forest picking berries when I happened upon this joyous occasion, congratulations."

"Thank you," they said.

To their surprise, it began raining as they stranger smiled at them.

"I guess we were so happy that we didn't notice the weather changing," the young man said.

"Just gather your things," the stranger said. "My home is nearby and I'd love to hear more of your engagement if you don't mind."

They wanted to say no but it seemed as if the rain intensified the longer they took and forced their hand.

"Okay," they said hesitantly.

They traveled to the stranger's home in the forest and found it a cozy unassuming place.

"You can sit down while I get the fire going," the stranger said still with a warm smile.

They sat down as the fire got started and the stranger got some tea going, when the tea was ready, they sat with them and they told the stranger of their relationship and how it blossomed from their days as little kids through their teens and to this day.

"That's so beautiful," the stranger said with a tear in his eye. "Well, allow me to impart a gift unto you."

"You don't need to do that," the young woman said.

"Oh, but I must, I insist," he said. "It's really nothing just a token of my admiration for true love."

"Well, if you insist," the young man said.

Without any warning, the stranger stabs the young man in the neck.

"Get out of here," he gurgled through the blood in his throat.

It was no use as her concern for her beloved wouldn't let her move, after he died her concern immediately transformed into fright as she looked into the stranger's eyes.

"What's with this freaky ass rain?" Kiba asked as he came to Naruto's house to hang out.

"I don't know, man," Naruto said. "It was just sunny too."

The rest of Pretty Painful were sent on a mission and hadn't returned yet so Naruto decided to hang out with his friends once more, one clone played Kiba in Leaf Village Ninja Storm, another played Shikamaru in Shogi, Shino and another clone were experimenting with his bugs and affects certain plant had when they ate them, the real Naruto just sparred with Neji and Lee while Sai painted and Choji cooked and ate.

"Damn it," the clone that played Shogi against Shikamaru shouted as he lost.

"Come on," Shikamaru said. "Let's go again."

"Give me a second, will ya? My brain is fried."

"Okay," Shikamaru said. "Just don't chicken out on me."

Shikamaru got up and looked out the window when he noticed something peculiar about the rain.

"Have you noticed that it doesn't seem to rain as hard around here?"

"Maybe it's dying down," Naruto said.

"No, you can see how hard it's raining in the distance, as a matter of fact, whenever this strange rain kicks up, it never rains that hard here."

"Maybe Naruto's just lucky," Kiba said as he beat Naruto in a game. "Now, if only that luck would transfer to his gaming."

"Oh, whatever," Naruto said. "But that does sound peculiar. Do you guys know if there's anything special about this area of the village?"

"Not really," Sai said. "Those trained in the root had extensive knowledge of every aspect in regards to the village for when Danzo planned his coup and there's nothing special about this area of the village."

The mini-mystery soon got the rest of them interested and they joined in.

"Here," Neji said. "I'll see if I can see anything, Byakugan!"

Neji used his Byakugan and what he saw came as an extreme surprise.

"This storm is full of chakra," he said.

"What?" they asked.

"Yes, and it seems as if it's reacting against Naruto's chakra."

"What do you mean?" Shikamaru asked.

"It's seems as if the mere presence of Naruto's chakra is keeping it at bay, like putting magnets of the same polarity together."

"Do you know anything about this, Naruto?" Lee asked.

"No," Naruto answered. "This is news to me."

"I think we should take this to Lady Tsunade," Shino said.

They left Naruto's home and headed to Hokage Tower, Lady Tsunade was in her office looking over the recent reports of missing people in her office.

"What could this mean?" she asked herself as a knock came at her office door. "Come in."

In walked Pretty Painful who arrived to give her report for their respective missions.

"We'd have got back sooner," Sakura said. "But those guys just didn't know when to quit."

As they gave their reports, Naruto and the others walked in.

"Naruto?" Pretty Painful shouted as they surrounded him to show their affection.

"Hello, girls," Naruto said.

"What are you doing here?" Tsunade asked.

"We've found something strange," Shikamaru said. "It seems as if this freaky weather isn't natural."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Neji found that this storm is full of chakra," Shikamaru answered. "Like a jutsu and if I had to guess, so are the others."

"What?" Tsunade asked in shock.

"That's not all," Neji added. "For some reason, it seems as if the chakra is repelled by the presence of Naruto's."

"It can't be," Tsunade said. "He's supposed to be dead."

"Who?" they asked.

"You're uncle, Naruto," Tsunade said.

"My uncle?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, his name was Kaikou Namikaze but he was a criminal and sentenced to death."

"What'd he do?"

Tsunade's face became downcast as he knew what she had to tell him.

"The Uchina clan isn't the only tragic massacre this village has experienced, it's actually not surprising that you and Sasuke became close," Tsunade said. "Your uncle murdered your father's family when he was younger, the only reason Minato lived was because he was out on a mission with his sensei, Jiraiya."

"Well, if he's supposed to have been sentenced to death, how would he be alive?" Naruto asked.

"I think I might know," Sai said. "When I was younger, I saw Danzo having a man taken from a room in shackles. When I asked about him, I was punished severely for questioning Danzo's will. It was a long time ago and he was kind of dirty but he had hair and eyes similar to that of Naruto and the Fourth Hokage. Though they were still very secretive when I got older and moved up in standing, they told me more about Danzo's operations and the prisoners that were held in that area were criminals that were used as slaves for the Root."

"That makes sense," Tsunade said. "Unlike Minato who was more adept for open combat, your uncle was used for espionage and assassination attempts, he was in the ANBU. His record is the only one better than Itachi, Kakashi, or Yamato's, but it was erased from the books with his convictions."

"How could something like this happen in our village?" Sakura asked.

"The Leaf Village was a different place back then, we didn't have all of the psychological testing we do now until the Yamanaka clan began to evolve their abilities. Though it was rare, it wasn't unheard of to have a perfectly normal shinobi go pass the lunatic fringe from their mission load."

"Well, if he was one of Danzo's slaves, how did he get out?" Shino asked.

"I don't know, Sai led everyone through a thorough sweep of Danzo's hidden lair under the village and nothing came up strange."

"That's right," Sai said. "We did the sweep and found the prisoners, they were all accounted for but don't quote me as I wasn't the one doing the accounting. They were transported to the Leaf Village Prison because the only thing any of us in Root knew were that they were criminals, only Danzo and his two most senior followers, Foo and Torune, knew after he wiped their records out."

"Shikamaru," Tsunade said ready to give out orders. "Go to the Leaf Village Prison with Sai and have the guards check every prisoner that Danzo used and see if there's anyone there that fits Sai's description, leave no stone unturned."

"Yes, ma'am," Sai and Shikamaru said with a bow before leaving.

"Go with them, too, Naruto," Tsunade said. "Your family's chakra has special properties that will allow you to tell if he's there or not, the rest of you will stay here."

They head to check reporting back within the hour, they return to report their findings.

"Well?" Tsunade asked.

"Nothing," Shikamaru said. "We didn't find anyone the even remotely resembled Naruto or the Fourth Hokage."

"And I didn't sense anything," Naruto added.

"Are you sure?" Tsunade asked.

"Not a thing."

"Damn it," she said.

"What should we do?" Shikamaru asked. "We can't have everyone in a panic."

"Spread the word to as many of the shinobi as you can find but be careful, it's not beyond his abilities to be one of those shinobi. Just tell them to keep an eye out, we don't want to let him know that we're on to him. All of the older shinobi know this story, tell them to let the younger shinobi know."

"Yes, ma'am," Shikamaru said as he left with their other friends.

"ANBU!" Tsunade demanded.

"Yes, ma'am," two ANBU said as they appeared kneeling before her.

"I want you to tell the rest of the ANBU to do a thorough sweep of the surrounding forests, make sure to bring everyone you find come back to the village even if you have to use force but be careful, never go anywhere alone. After you're finished, I want constant patrols of the surrounding forest using the Falling Leaves Patrol Pattern except for two of you, tell them to come here so that they can escort Naruto back to his home and guard him."

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"If he knows of your existence, he just may try to kill you too."

**MESSAGE FROM lulamaemobster**

**FOR THOSE OF YOU JUST JOINING US, THIS STORY IS THE SEQUEL TO CHERRY BOMBS! VS. THE QUEENS OF SOUND WHICH IS THE SEQUEL TO CHERRY BOMBS 2! WHICH IS THE SEQUEL TO CHERRY BOMB! WHICH IS THE SEQUEL TO HE'S MINE: HINATA VS. SAKURA. SO AGAIN, TO GET THE FULL SAGA READ:**

**HE'S MINE: HINATA VS. SAKURA**

**CHERRY BOMB!**

**CHERRY BOMB 2!**

**CHERRY BOMBS! VS THE QUEENS OF SOUND.**


	3. In The Zone

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors Episode 21 Yeah!**

**The Ultimate Alliance of Authors and Rose Tiger were standing around listening to Legend of Namikaze Naruto explain how to snap lulamaemobster out of if.**

"**You see his favorite sports team failed this year, which hurt him as a guy so we just have to pump him back up."**

"**How are we supposed to do that?" ravercozy asked. **

"**It's quite simple," Legend of Namikaze Naruto said. "Watch and learn."**

**He walked up to the brooding lulamaemobster and looked him dead in the eyes.**

"**Yeah!" he shouted with a snarl.**

"**Yeah?" lulamaemobster responded.**

"**Yeah!"**

"**Yeah!" lulamaemobster shouted with a snarl of his own.**

**They both shouted "Yeah!" at the top of their lungs until lulamaemobster head butted a wall putting a hole in it.**

"**You guys ever seen him that pumped?" asked Kage Bijuu.**

"**Never," said Rose Tiger.**

"**What the fuck," Chewie Cookies asked. "Is he going Super Saiyan?"**

"**Well, at least he's back," Adngo 714 said.**

"**Yeah," Uzumakie said. "I was worried there for a second."**

"**I think I'm even more worried now," Blame Truth said. "We have to get him out here before he wrecks the place."**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**In The Zone**

The ANBU were patrolling the forest after bring everyone back to village, using the Falling Leaves Search Pattern, they searched the entire forest. As the name suggests, the pattern follows the randomness of falling leaves, the only criteria is that every individual search party never checks the same place twice until they've searched the everywhere allowing to them to cover the entire forest without bunching up and leaving an area open and unmanned. While the ANBU checked the forests, missions were suspended and every regular shinobi in the village were ordered to keep watch while trying to act normal as to not upset the village and let on to Naruto's uncle that they knew he was at large. They failed on both counts, their first failure came as the villagers were still a little gun shy from the invasion of Pain and noticed when something strange was going on. The villagers noticed that the amount of shinobi in the village was a little higher than average but that wasn't what bothered them.

"Hey, dad," Ayame said. "Have you noticed that the shinobi of this village aren't really doing anything?"

"Yeah," Teuchi answered. "I thought it was just me, they seem a bit on edge too."

Their second failure came as Naruto's uncle noticed everything they did and walked among them freely until he felt a bit hungry as he passed by Ichiraku Ramen.

"Welcome," Ayame said as he sat down. "What'll you have?"

"I think I'll have a bowl of Miso," he said with a warm smile. "It's a favorite of my family's."

"One bowl of Miso, coming right up," Teuchi said.

Meanwhile, Naruto was in his home as it was guarded in four directions by the ANBU and Arinbi and Ten were at his house to guard him personally while the other members of Pretty Painful were out patrolling the village. Naruto was pacing restlessly as he was never one to stand still, the girls decided that they'd try to get him to relax and approached him.

"Get the fuck off!" he said unusually agitated.

He could she the hurt in their eyes from being rejected by him and immediately tried to make it right.

"Sorry," he said as he hugged and kissed the both of them. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Can you forgive me?"

"Sure," Ten said with a smile after seeing how remorseful he was. "But what crawled up your ass and died?"

"I feel like a fucking chump in here," he said frustrated. "Everyone's out looking for some Master Killer and I'm being guarded like I hired you for a mission or something. I mean, I defeated seven members of the Akatsuki, two if you want to be a dick about it. I mean, fuck, I should be out looking for this guy too."

"Well," Arinbi said. "Maybe you should let us take your mind off of it."

She kissed Naruto on the lips and this time he let them take control if him as they began to undress him then each other. He got into things as he picked them both up on each shoulder and carried them to his room.

"Hey, this is kidnapping," Ten joked. "I'll scream for the ANBU."

"They can't help you," Naruto said. "Not for what I got planned."

They were turned on by Naruto's ability to picked them both up his shoulders, he could feel it as he played with their pussies and their juices dripped down their legs. He kicked the door to his room open and threw them on his bed, they immediately went to work as they took turns sucking on his member and he no longer felt like a chump as he ran his fingers through their hair. As the feel of their lips and tongue on his member got to him, he moved his hands down and gave their nipples a squeeze. They moaned from the feel of his fingers and the vibrations added to the sensation and he exploded in their mouths, they dragged him into the bed and the three of them used their mouths and hands to pleasure each other. As Arinbi had her face buried in Ten's pussy, Naruto takes his member out of Ten's mouth and puts it in Arinbi from behind.

"Oh, Naruto," she moaned.

Missing the feeling of Arinbi's tongue, Ten grabbed her by the back of the head and placed her mouth back at her pussy. Naruto slid in and out as each stroke gave Arinbi an impossible amount of ecstasy, it wasn't long before she came so hard that she fell forward off of Naruto and onto Ten. Ready for her turn, Ten pushed her to the side and pulled Naruto down.

"I'm so close, Naruto."

Hearing her words, Naruto gave it to her differently as he put her legs on his shoulders and pounded her furiously until she came. Feeling himself coming, Naruto pulled out of Ten and stood over the both of them as his cum blasted onto their faces. Back at Ichiraku Ramen, Naruto's uncle struck up a conversation with Teuchi and Ayame.

"So, you new around here?" Teuchi asked. "I've never seen you before."

"Oh, I've lived here for about a few months now," Naruto's uncle said. "I usually don't eat out very often but my mother has taken sick and I decided to stop in for a quick bite on the way home from work as so I wouldn't have to make dinner for the both of us, I have a hard enough time cooking for her as it is."

With the shinobi seemingly disturbed about something, Teuchi and Ayame were suspicious of the new face and decided to test him.

"Boy, I still can't believe what happened three months ago, Dad," Ayame said referring to the Invasion of Pain.

"Neither can I," Teuchi added. "Especially how the village has made such a recovery, do you remember what happened, friend?"

"It was amazing indeed," he said. "One minute, my parents and I were reunited with my grandparents and the next, we were back here. Not to mention those scary men with the odd sense of fashion, has anyone told you who they were yet?"

"No," Teuchi said as the man passed their test because people outside of the village knew of Pain's invasion but they didn't know about his killing and resurrection of the villagers.

Naruto's uncle just flashed his warms smile and continued his conversation with Teuchi and Ayame who were now at ease. Kakashi sat a ways away pretending to read his favorite book as he covertly watched the conversation, meanwhile, the rest of Pretty Painful was patrolling the village.

"I say we start hammering people until they talk," Hinata said in her wildcard persona.

"I gotta say, that sounds brutal," Metaru said in agreement. "Let's do that."

"We can't do that," Ino said. "This is our village."

"Yeah, but this really burns my ass," Rappu said. "You know what Naruto and I could be doing to each other right now?"

"You know what burns my ass," Karin asked.

"What?" asked Punku.

"A flame two and a half feet high," Karin joked. "I love that one."

Back at Naruto's house, Naruto had made love to Ten and Arinbi so well that they fell into sex comas, feeling even more trapped, Naruto saw this as an opportunity to sneak out of the house.

"Man, those guys are useless," he thought as he passed the ANBU without getting caught. "Now, what to do?"

Kakashi continued to watch the conversation at Ichiraku Ramen as it began raining hard.

"Look at this rain, dad?" Ayame said.

"Out of the blue too," Teuchi said. "We'd better secure this place."

"Would you like some help?" Naruto's uncle asked.

"It's okay," Teuchi said. "I don't want to trouble you. You'd better get out of this or you'll be too sick to take care of your mother."

"It's no trouble," he said flashing his warm smile once again.

"Okay, then," Teuchi said opening the door on the side to let him in the shop as Kakashi just watched.

Meanwhile, Tsunade was in the hokage's office when it began raining.

"Oh, no," she said. "He's about to strike."

The shinobi in the village were now on high alert and began to search as it was now pointless to keep up the façade. Naruto's uncle was talking to Teuchi and Ayame about the daily going ons within the village, they got so comfortable that they even gave him the recipe to their Miso ramen.

"That's so kind of you," he said. "Allow me to thank you with a gift."

He flashed his warm smile at them putting them at ease.

"Thanks," Teuchi and Ayame said as he reached in his pants.

As he reached for his weapon, he froze as he sensed something familiar.

"It can't be," he said.

Outside, Naruto was looking around as he began to feel something he'd never felt before, from the way Tsunade described it to him, he surmised that his uncle was nearby. He saw Kakashi just looking blankly at the Ichiraku stand as he held his book in his hand and went to him.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said getting no response. "Kakashi-sensei? Is this a genjutsu?"

Not very adept at dispelling genjutsu outside of Sage Mode, Naruto did the only thing he could think of to snap him out of it and planted a stiff right hand on his master.

"Naruto?" Kakashi asked holding his face. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be guarded in your home."

"He's nearby," Naruto said.

"He is?" Kakashi asked. "The last thing I remember was watching this suspicious person talking to Teuchi and Ayame."

They looked at the shop and noticed that no one was there, they rushed over to investigate and found Teuchi and Ayame standing there with a smile on their faces.

"It's a genjutsu," Kakashi said. "I'll dispel it."

"I'll go search for him," Naruto said.

"No," Naruto said. "The hokage doesn't want you anywhere near him."

"I can sense him, he getting away."

"The rain's dying down," Kakashi said. "He's not in the killing mood any more, you can relax for now."

Kakashi dispeled the genjutsu on Teuchi and Ayame then brought them to the hokage's office as he and they were now witnesses as well as Naruto, Ten, and Arinbi to be reprimanded.

"First off, why won't you listen?" Tsunade asked Naruto. "I told your valuable ass to stay put."

"Sheesh," Naruto said. "I just wanted to get out for a bit, besides, they would've died if I hadn't come along when I did. So, really, you should be thanking me."

"If you don't shut the hell up, I'm going to eat you," said a very angry Tsunade. "And you two bitches."

Ten and Arinbi just hung their heads as they knew messed up.

"Am I going to have to spay you and the rest of your crew of hootchies?"

"No, ma'am."

"I don't mean to be so uptight," Tsunade said calming down. "Just keep it in your pants until we get this sorted out."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now, what can you three tell us about him?" Tsunade asked Teuchi and Ayame getting down to business.

"Uh, he was a very handsome young man," Ayame said. "I'd say about twenty years old."

"Twenty?" Tsunade asked. "What about his hair and eyes?"

"They were blonde and blue," Teuchi said. "If it weren't for the fact that his hair was cut short, I'd have thought he was a Yamanaka."

"Is that all you remember?" Tsunade asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Ayame said. "Except for his warm smile, there was nothing out of the ordinary about him. Dad and I even quizzed him on what happened with those guys a few months ago and he passed."

"That was good work," Naruto said.

"What did I just tell you?" Tsunade snapped. "ANBU!"

"Yes, ma'am?" said two ANBU.

"Escort these two to their shop and then to their homes, they've had a run in with our suspect and I want them guarded."

"Yes, ma'am."

The ANBU left with Teuchi and Ayame as Kakashi spoke to Tsunade about what he saw.

"It's as they said," Kakashi said. "I only took notice of him because I didn't remember seeing him in the village before, but sensei'd be about forty years old so his brother should be about your age, Lady Tsunade."

"He must've perfected it," Tsunade said.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"One trait you share with your father's family is a penchant for developing jutsu, before he was caught, he was working on a zone concept for his genjutsu."

"Zone?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes, it's no surprised that you were caught in his genjutsu. He's already been powerful in that area, he makes Itachi look like a novice. Before he went off the deep end, he said that he found it tiresome directing his genjutsu so he tried to develop his concept."

"What's so special about it?" Ten asked.

"Well, puts up and a constant genjutsu zone around him, in theory, it you were in the barrier, you were in the genjutsu. He doesn't even have to look at you, it just mattered whom he wanted to control, it looks like he finally made his theory a reality. I'd say you were in the genjutsu while you watched him, then he noticed you and put you under."

"What do you suggest we do?" Kakashi asked.

"First, Naruto's going to be staying near me," Tsunade said. "You and your little girlfriends can stay in my guestroom. Second, tell…"

"Lady Tsunade," Kakashi said. "It's raining again."


	4. Another Murder

**The Utlimate Alliance Of Authors Episode 24 The Legendary League of Fan Fiction Writers**

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors were facing off with their rivals, The Legendary League of Fan Fiction Writers whose members consisted of olamaegangster, partymonster, Vizer Espada, Harristowolves, Takenleave 606, Kurosakie, Crunchie Crackers, and Accuse Honesty.**

"**What do you dicks want?" ravercozy asked.**

"**Can't you see this is our turf?" partymonster asked. **

"**Can't you see that we don't care?" lulamaemobster asked snarkly.**

"**Fuck you," olamaegangster said. "You guys have about two shakes of a rattlesnake's tail to get out of here."**

"**Or what?" Kage Bijuu asked.**

"**Or we'll break you in half," Vizer Espada threatened.**

"**Please," Morristofoxes said. "You bitches couldn't even find one word to end your name with let alone kick anyone's ass."**

"**Keep talking and you're going to have to find your teeth," Harristowolves said.**

"**I say fuck the dumb shit," Chewie Cookies said fed up. "Don't sing it, bring it."**

"**So, what's up then?" Crunchie Crackers asked. "Let's do this right now."**

"**Word," Uzumakie said. **

"**I'm going to break your face," Kurosakie threatened.**

"**Not before I put my foot up your ass," Blame Truth said.**

"**Well, see about that," Accuse Honesty said.**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Another Murder**

The shinobi searched the village trying to keep someone else from being murdered by Naruto's uncle, they were desperate to end his killing spree but were too late as they found an old man dead in his home. The person who found him, Hisoka Hyuuga, came to the Hokage's office to report on the murder.

"What can you tell me?" Tsunade asked.

"It's strange," Hisoka said. "I was watching that area with my Byakugan but I didn't see the murder."

"His genjutsu must've blocked your vision."

"It's impossible to catch a Hyuuga in a genjutsu when they have the Byakugan because, no matter how high the level, genjutsu is nothing more than chakra being transmitted into the target. I'd have seen the chakra in the air. The last thing I saw was him with was a young child."

"A child?" Tsunade asked.

"Yes, a little girl," Hisoka said. "I could see them with the Byakugan and from what I could tell, the little girl wasn't a relative or anything like that. He was playing catch with her when the rain began, they went into his house and that was the last I saw before he was murdered."

"Was it a transformation?"

"No."

"How could you be so sure?" Naruto asked.

"Because, I'd have seen the chakra activity."

"This is getting strange," Tsunade thought.

At the Leaf Village Hospital, Sakura was pulled from her patrol to perform the autopsy of the old man with Shizune.

"It's strange," Sakura said. "This guy was murdered with poisoned candy as opposed to being stabbed like the other victims."

"It's a rare poison at that," Shizune added. "I've never encountered it in battle, I think Lady Tsunade maybe the only one who has in the village. Let's go show her our findings."

They traveled back to the Hokage's office as fast as they could making sure to watch each other's backs. When they got to her office, they gave her their autopsy report and she was quite surprised.

"I haven't seen this poison since the war," Tsunade said. "And the person who developed it was killed by Jiraiya and Orochimaru."

"Then how could they have gotten it?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know, the more I hear about this the worse it gets."

Hearing about the manner of death made Ino, who was their because of her psychological training as a Yamanaka, draw a conclusion.

"There's more than one killer."

"Are you sure?" asked Tsunade.

"Yes," Ino ensured. "The basic profiles are different, the other victims were murdered with a bladed weapon, right?"

"Yes," Tsunade answered.

"This person was killed more passively, if there's one thing I've learned from my psychological training it's that killers usually have a manner in which they like to kill. Some people are more up close and personal like whoever killed the first victims, whoever killed this person doesn't like to get their hands dirty."

Elsewhere, the rest of Pretty Painful was on patrol when Hinata's Byakugan caught sight of something strange.

"Come with me," she said.

"Where are we going?" Rappu asked as they followed her.

"I saw someone over here."

They rushed over to the area they say the person but they were gone, Hinata tried to continue following but there was no trace of them. They went back to where she saw the figure and found something scribbled on the wall.

"Into this house, we're born."

"What the hell does that mean?" Punku asked.

"How the hell should we know," Metaru answered. "We've gotta tell Lady Tsunade."

They headed back to Tsunade's office to report in what they found.

"What hell is that all about?" she asked. "Okay, I need a second."

As Pretty Painful and Naruto watched, Tsunade deliberated about everything that was going on.

"It can't be an invasion," she thought. "No one would try that with Naruto in my back pocket, not to mention, those girls and his friends coming into their own. Are these killers working together and what the hell did that creepy ass message mean?"

Tsunade did the only thing she could do, she ordered that a team of shinobi headed to the area where Hinata lost the person she saw and maintained security and order within the village.

"What about me?" Naruto asked.

"Your status remains the same until we learn more," Tsunade said. "We may need you and your abilities once we figure this thing out even further."

"Well, I guess I'll head back home," Naruto said.

"What did I tell you?" she said. "You're going to sit your ass here in my office until I go home."

Naruto sat in Tsunade's office and could see how worried she was about everything.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's just that this reminds me of how things used to be."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was a time when the shinobi world was just settling into the way it is now and shinobi used to go crazy at a moment's notice. I'm worried that the shinobi today aren't able to handle that level of madness."

"Don't worry," Naruto said. "If anyone tries anything, we'll kick their asses."

"Hm, you are strong," she said. "But strength of mind will be much more paramount."

With Naruto being guarded by Tsunade personally, Pretty Painful was searching in full force.

"This is a little creepy," Sakura said.

"The village seems so different," Jazi said. "This place reminds me of the Village Hidden in The Sound, the shinobi are all on edge and the villagers are unaware of the danger their in."

"Yeah, it was great," Metaru added. "This is different, though."

"What do you mean?" asked Ten.

"This is more dark, like pure evil."

"Orochimaru wasn't pure evil?" Ino asked.

"No," Karin answered. "He was a little on the freaky side and a major douche but he was a researcher more than anything, he just didn't have any regard for the people he hurt in his quest to understand the world around him."

In an effort to keep her shinobi fresh, Tsunade broke the search up into shifts. Pretty Painful's shift finished and they reported to Lady Tsunade's home after gathering their things, the servant cooked dinner for them and Naruto but they had one thing on their minds as they didn't take their eyes off of him while they ate.

"I'm done," they all said.

"Uh, I guess I am too," Naruto said knowing what they were thinking about.

Naruto got up from the table and headed up stairs, they all looked around and followed him. They each went to their respective rooms to find a clone of Naruto waiting on their beds.

"I've been waiting for you all night," he said to each girl with a smile on his face.

Without another word, they pounced on their Naruto. Tsunade, who was too worried to join them for dinner, was standing on her balcony looking out on the village.

"At least it isn't raining," she thought. "The people are safe for the time being."

As she continued to look out over the village, she heard some noises from the windows next to her.

"Is that?"

She walked back into the house and found that the noises were coming from multiple doors.

"I know they aren't" she said to herself.

She kicked the first door open to find Naruto with his face buried between Karin's legs, she found similar scenes in every room. They were all going at it so intensely that they didn't even notice her standing in the middle of the hallway very perturbed.

"Get your asses out here now!"

The anger in her voice registered within them and they got up so fast that they forgot to get dressed.

"What is it with you floozies?" she asked.

"Lady Tsunade," Sakura started.

"Look, Jiraiya's dead so I haven't been fuckin' in a while and if I'm not fuckin' in my house, no one's fuckin' in my house. You're sleeping on my room floor, Naruto, since I can't trust any of you to keep it in your pants."

Naruto and Pretty Painful just stood in disappointment at the news.

"Come on," Tsunade shouted. "And the rest of you are supposed to be helping with defending him so don't fuck each other either, I know you're into that."

Naruto followed Tsunade to her room with his head down and Pretty Painful went to their rooms, since Naruto had already revved them up but they hadn't gotten their release, they decided to service themselves. Meanwhile, in Tsunade's room, a nude Naruto stood before an equally nude Tsunade.

"I'm glad you finally got me away from them," Naruto said. "They're so clingy."

"Well, you can thank me right now."

Naruto walked up to Tsunade and took her nipples between his fingers before squeezing her gigantic breasts and giving her a kiss, one of his hands traveled down to her pussy as she started to stroke his member. She used her strength and lifted Naruto bridal style and laid him down on her bed, she squatted down over his face and he immediately started lapping at her lips while she sucked him off.

"You're so wet," he said in between flicks of his tongue.

She sucked him off faster and faster until he exploded in her mouth, she reared back driving her pussy on his face until his tongue gave her an orgasm. She began rubbing his member between her breast while she sucked the tip until she made him erect again, she squatted over his penis and slid down.

"Oh, yeah," she moaned.

"Take what you need," Naruto said.

She rode him hard as they both started moaning, Naruto created a clone four clones, one entered her ass as she sucked and jerked off the other three until all five Narutos came on and inside of her. The clones dispersed as she lay next to him as they tried to catch their breath.

"I'm going to keep you up all night," she said to him.

"That's not happening," each member of Pretty Painful said throwing the thought of Naruto and Tsunade getting on out of their minds.

In all actuality, Tsunade was keeping Naruto up all night but for a different reason.

"I can't believe she snores this loudly," Naruto said as he was wide awake while Tsunade slept soundly. "Son of a bitch."


	5. Let's Handle This Ourselves

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors Episode 28 The End Of The Brawl**

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors and the Legendary League of Fan Fiction Writers watched as lulamaemobster leapt high into the air after olamaegangster.**

"**This ought to be good," ravercozy said to his fellow Ultimate Authors.**

"**This is some bullshit," partymonster said to his fellow Legendary Fan Fiction Writers.**

**As lulamaemobster's fists lit up with the power he was set to unleash, olamaegangster recovered and prepared himself sending his power to his fists as well. Their fists slammed into each other's faces and the sky lit up in a giant flash of light.**

"**Whoa," Kage Bijuu said. **

"**Wow," Vizer Espada said.**

**Both combatants fell out of the flash and came crashing down to the ground leaving a gigantic crater in the ground. Their respective comrades came rushing to their side and helped them off of the ground.**

"**Let me go," they both said.**

**Their friends let them go and the struggle to stand as they faced each other.**

"**Stop, you asshole," Rose Tiger said as she appeared in front of lulamaemobster.**

"**That's enough, jackass," Daisy Linx said appearing in front of olamaegangster.**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Let's Handle This Ourselves**

The search party Lady Tsunade sent to track down the person Hinata spotted came back to report in to Lady Tsunade.

"What did you find?"

They followed the trail and it lead them through the Leaf Village Forest when it suddenly turned cold and the only thing they found was a potted plant.

"Mr. Uke?" Naruto asked when he saw it. "Where did you find this?"

"Who ever that was left it there," the shinobi said.

"Isn't this the plant you keep at your house," Tsunade asked.

"Yeah," he said with tears in his eyes. "I'm so glad he's okay."

As Naruto hugged his treasured plant, Tsunade figured that it was a message and she sent a squad of ANBU to Naruto's house and they came back to report that it had been broken into. Meanwhile, as they patrolled the village, Naruto's lady friends could've been called Pretty Impatient after being cut off from Naruto.

"This is really becoming a pain in the ass," Sakura said. "This jerk is getting between Naruto and me."

"Well, Lady Tsunade's trying to handle it," Arinbi said.

"So, what?" Ino said. "All that's going to happen is that the ANBU are going to get killed quickly."

"Yeah," Jazi said. "I haven't been here that long and I already see that coming."

"What are you two saying?" Metaru asked. "That we do this ourselves?"

"Yeah," Ten answered. "Right now, Lady Tsunade seems to be more on defense mode."

"But do we want to piss her off?" Punku asked. "We're pretty bad ass kunoichi but she wrote the book on being a bad ass kunoichi. I'm just saying that I don't want her to crush me with one of her tits or something, that's like the worse way to die. Crushed by tit."

"Brutal."

"Well, she won't if we solve this," Rappu said. "Then we can go back to getting laid."

"And isn't that what it's all about?" asked Karin. "What we need is a plan."

"That's your department, right?" Metaru asked. "You're the brains of the outfit."

"Yeah," Karin said. "But first we need to go over what we know, so, what do we know?"

"Apparently, this guy is some excellent killer," Hinata said. "And according to reports, the first victims were a family on the road to the village and there are that couple that went missing."

"Didn't their parents say that they were going for a picnic in the forest?" asked Arinbi.

"Yeah," answered Ten. "And that search party tracked whomever Hinata saw to the forest before they lost them."

"So, the forest is where we need to head first," Karin said. "We'll head there after our shift if over."

Meanwhile, Naruto had to sit in Tsunade's office with her as shinobi came in and out with various reports.

"Man, is this what it means to be hokage?" he asked.

"Sadly, yes," Tsunade said. "It's nothing more than bureaucracy for those who take up the mantle of kage."

"Not me," Naruto said. "That shit is boring."

"Please," Tsunade said. "Even if you become hokage, I never had any allusions about you doing paperwork."

"Really?"

"Of course not, you're more intelligent than people give you credit for."

"Thanks," Naruto said grinning.

"But you aren't the sharpest kunai in the pouch," she said. "You'd probably have more advisors than is advisable. I figured that Shikamaru would help you with the office stuff, Sakura would help with the hospital stuff, and the rest of your friends will help you out. Then you'll likely have the major clans with you. I mean, you're in tight with Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, and Shino who are likely all future heads of their clans. You're literally in tight with Hinata and Ino so you have all of the major clans on your side and, from your similar backgrounds and interactions, you and Gaara are basically related so you don't have to worry about the Sand Village. If you add your alliance with him to our village and your individual strength, I doubt any of the other villages would be apt to fuck with the Leaf."

"Straight up," Naruto said. "I am pretty bad ass, so here's the sixty four thousand dollar question, why won't you let me take this guy on?"

"I told you, you are strong but you're not a killer."

"What? I killed like six people at once not even a year ago."

"In the heat of battle, this man is a killer of the highest order."

"What makes him so great?"

"This man has mastered every form of killing, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. He can take a seemingly normal person and turn them into a suicidal madman without the use of genjutsu."

"Without genjutsu?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, one thing that made him so efficient in assassinations was that he could find the thing that truly makes you tick. He could take the thing that gives you the most happiness and make you shun it out of fear, he can make you view the thing that gives you strength and make you view it with immeasurable rage. This manipulation could allow him to kill someone without lifting a finger or leaving a trace, he could even manipulate others into doing his bidding. He only used genjutsu to save time."

"So, how'd you finally catch him?" Naruto asked.

"It took a ten nation manhunt," Tsunade answered. "It was the only time the entire shinobi world united for a common cause, although, it didn't stop us from taking the blame for it."

That night, Pretty Painful were ready to enact on their plan, they left as Naruto was awake but unable to hear anything over Tsunade's snoring.

"If I cover her mouth," Naruto thought. "She'll probably wake up and crush me with one of her boobs. I really don't want to die like that, I beat the odds all my life just to get boobed to death. People will talk about me."

Thanks to Hinata's Byakugan and Karin's chakra, the were able to avoid the ANBU.

"Damn, those guys are useless," Sakura said.

They made their way out of the village and into the surrounding forest, it took a second but they were able to find the place Lady Tsunade's search party followed the figure to.

"Can you see anything, Hinata?" Karin asked as she used her chakra sensing abilities.

"No," Hinata said. "We need to keep searching."


	6. The Show

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors 32 I Like 'Em Thick**

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors were at their base and just watched the movie Wanted with Angelina Jolie.**

"**That was the most overrated movie ever," lulamaemobster said.**

"**Yeah, and did they need the narration?" ravercozy asked. "I hate movies like that, it's like they don't think the audience is smart enough to follow the movie."**

"**Seriously," Chewie Cookies said. "I can see the actions and hear the dialogue of the characters plus its rated R so anyone who's watching the movie can comprehend what's going on."**

"**It's like the director is a know it all," Blame Truth said. **

"**Speaking of overrated," lulamaemobster said. "You know who's overrated?"**

"**Who?" they asked.**

"**Angelina Jolie, I don't see why everyone's so enamored with her, she's too skinny."**

"**You don't like 'em skinny?" asked Kage Bijuu.**

"**We've been over this, I like 'em thick like Tocarra Jones from America's Next Top Model."**

"**Yeah, that's right," Morristofoxes said. "I remember you talking about that a while ago."**

"**You know what I wouldn't mind taking a run at?" asked lulamaemobster with a lecherous smile on his face. "One of those Goth chicks."**

"**Really?" asked Uzumakie.**

"**Yeah, there aren't a whole lot of them where I'm from, I'd just like to see what they're all about more than anything. People seem to avoid them sometimes but I don't know."**

"**You'd better not let Rose Tiger hear you talking like that."**

"**Rose Tiger ain't gonna do a goddamn thing," lulamaemobster said defiantly not knowing she was behind him.**

**They all had a look of sheer terror on their faces as they saw her.**

"**She's behind me, isn't she?"**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**The Show**

Pretty Painful continued down the trail, they were on high alert as it had begun raining again.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked seeing her face.

"I sense something," Karin said. "Check it out, Hinata."

"Byakugan!" she shouted as her kekkei genkai activated. "I see something in the far winds. I always wanted to say that."

"Enough jokes," Jazi said. "What is it?"

"It's a guy and he seems to be looking in this direction."

"What's he look like?" Metaru asked. "Is he old, does he look like Naruto?"

"No," Hinata said. "I've never seen him before and he doesn't seem to be from around here."

"What's he doing?" asked Arinbi.

"He seems to be waiting for us."

"How do you know?" Ten asked.

"He's motioning for me to follow him."

"Well, we don't want to disappoint him," Punku said.

Hinata kept her Byakugan activated as to not lose sight of the person and they moved to his location, he didn't even try to leave and waited for them to meet him.

"Hello," he greeted with warm smile upon their arrival.

"Who are you?" Metaru demanded.

"There someone you should meet," he said. "Someone you may be more interested in."

He turned and left, they had no choice but to follow as they wanted to end this as soon as possible.

"Just keep your eyes peeled," Ino said. "And stick together."

They followed him and he led them deeper into the forest, he didn't even seem to try and cover his tracks which made them very curious.

"You seem not to worry about us knowing where you're located," Rappu said.

"You seem to assume that you'll be leaving," he said still with his warm smile.

His words made Hinata and Punku jam him up against a tree as they took them as a threat.

"What makes you think we won't kill you right here?" Hinata asked.

"Forgive me, I believe I gave the wrong impression," he said still with that warm smile that was both soothing and horrifying. "I meant that once you've met him, you won't want to come back. Now, if you please."

They noticed that he was looking at something and turned to find a building standing in front of them.

"Where the hell did this come from?" asked Arinbi.

"Follow me."

Inside the building they found a group of people inside seemingly waiting on something.

"You're in luck," he said. "Seeing as you're our honored guests, you're guaranteed a seat and won't have to wait."

"Wait on what?" Hinata asked.

"The movie will begin in five moments," a mindless voice said. "Those who are unseated will have to wait until the next showing."

They went behind him as the rest of the people followed them languidly down the hall and were seated when the voice began speaking again.

"The program this evening is not new, you've seen this entertainment through and through. You've seen your birth, your life and death, you may recall all of the rest. Tell me, have you had an interesting life? Enough to base a movie on?"

A giant screen came on and a movie began showing except that they all saw something different, they saw their lives and the thing they tried to push out of their minds. Hinata saw herself being neglected by her clan, Sakura saw herself being made fun of by the females in her class, Ten and Ino saw themselves being utterly ignored by the boys they had crushes on, Neji and Sasuke. Karin, Metaru, Punku, Rappu, Arinbi, and Jazi all saw the twisted things Orochimaru made them do in his name. They hadn't realized it but their lives were worse than they'd remembered. Hinata and the others that grew up in the Leaf Village never noticed how alone they were and Orochimaru's former disciples were horrified seeing their lives and the people they had become. The screen went off and the audience around them gave it a standing ovation.

"This is by far the best picture I've seen yet," one of them said.

"I have to see it again," said another.

Pretty Painful, on the other hand, were so deep in thought that they hadn't noticed that they were alone. That is except for the little girl standing next to them smiling.

"He wants to see you," she said. "He can help you deal with what you're feeling."

Without even thinking, they followed the little girl out of the theatre and further down the hall. They passed by several people coming from the direction they were going including one that Sakura, Karin, and Ino slightly recognized but were too wrapped up in thought to notice. There was a door at the end of the hall and they went inside to find a man sitting in the dark.

"Welcome," he said as the lights came on. "I understand you've been looking for me."

It was morning back in the Leaf Village and Tsunade woke up to find Naruto sleep deprived on her room floor.

"Sleep well?" she asked not paying attention.

"Like a baby," he lied as he got up to wake Pretty Painful.

He went to Sakura's room, which was the closest to Tsunade's but found her missing.

"Maybe she's with one of the other girls," he thought to himself hoping for such a scene.

He went to the other rooms but found each of them empty.

"Hey, the girls are gone," he told Tsunade as she came out of her room.

"They probably just got an early start on the day," she said.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

The two of them went to her office but something still bothered Naruto.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said. "I'd just feel better if I saw them."

She could see that he was truly worried and sent an ANBU to locate Pretty Painful, the ANBU returned to report that they were missing.

"What?" Naruto asked. "Where could they be?"

"He couldn't have killed them right from under our noses," Tsunade said. "You would've sensed him."

Tsunade processed the information and came to a conclusion.

"They wouldn't have."

"There wasn't any sign that they were taken or anything like that," Naruto said coming to the same conclusion. "And with Hinata's Byakugan and Karin's sensing abilities, it wouldn't be hard to navigate their way out of the village."


	7. Oblivion

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors Episode 36 Descendants Of Africa**

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors headed outside to find Black Nazi holding a group of Ocelots hostage.**

"**Sieg Heil!" he shouted with one hand extended in front of him.**

"**Hey," ravercozy shouted. "You do know that the fuhrer hated black people, right?"**

"**People of African descent," lulamaemobster corrected.**

"**Huh?" ravercozy asked.**

"**African Descendants," lulamaemobster said. "There's no place on earth called 'Black.'"**

"**Zat's right," Black Nazi said. "If zere's somewhere called black zen please show us."**

"**Sorry, you do know that the fuhrer hated African Descendants, right?"**

"**Zank you, I'll have you know zat ze fuhrer was 1/95****th**** African."**

"**Please," lulamaemobster said being the most familiar with him from his Lula Mae Mafia experiences. "We'll be here all day with this, what do you want, asselbow?"**

"**I zink you know vat I vant," he said looking at the pendant that Blame Truth wore.**

"**What?" they asked.**

"**He thinks we know what he wants," lulamaemobster said. "He's looking at your pendant, Blame Truth."**

"**Well, he can't have it."**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Oblivion**

"Who are you?" Arinbi asked.

"I'm actually more interested in you, Arinbi" he said.

"How do you know my name?"

"I know who all of you are, Arinbi, Hinata, Ino, Jazi, Karin, Metaru, Punku, Rappu, Sakura, and Ten of the Ten Clan. Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't your clan name derived from the fact that it was originally made of ten smaller clans long ago?"

"That's right," Ten said. "Now my next question is why aren't we killing you? We came all this way for that."

"I don't know," he said. "Do you have any reason not to? What about you, Hinata or Punku? You two are always so ready to hurt someone."

"I don't know," Hinata said.

"It's like, what's the point?" Punku asked. "None of this shit fuckin' matters, why the fuck are we even here?"

"For Naruto, right?" he asked.

"Well, yeah," they all answered weakly.

"Would you say that Naruto is your reason for being, your strength?" he asked.

"Yeah," Hinata answered. "I've loved him ever since I've known him."

"Let me ask you another question, what would happen if Naruto was never around? How would your lives had been different?"

They gave it some thought and he could see that they weren't as resolute in their thoughts.

"It's not really that tough to figure out, if it weren't for Naruto, you may have been able to win Sasuke's heart, Sakura. And you, Hinata, Naruto was supposedly your inspiration but every time you tried to prove yourself to him you just ended up hurting yourself in some fashion."

"S, so?" Hinata said as the words got to her.

"And what about you, Ten?" he asked. "Weren't you going to be a kunoichi the likes no one's seen since Tsunade?"

"Well, I…" she started.

"But ever since you got involved with Naruto, you've been stuck in the same place you're in now, even Lee's made jonin. That goes for the rest of you, ever since you've been with Naruto, you've done nothing with yourselves. Those of you in the Queens of Sound, you once took over an entire country and now you're no more than lackeys for the hokage."

As he continued to talk to them, their worlds were turned upside down and everything they believed, everything they ever loved seemed to be nothing but a waste. Not only that, like it was poison to them and they became angry for it.

"But there's a way to rid yourselves of that anger," he said.

"How?" Karin asked.

"What's the opposite of hate?"

"Love," Sakura said.

"Hate and love are merely two sides of the same coin, the opposite of having that coin is not having it."

"What are you saying?" Rappu asked.

"I'm saying that the opposite of hate and love is the same as the opposite of everything else," he explained. "Nothing."

As they were being educated, Tsunade was mobilizing a search squad for them that Naruto was demanding to be apart of.

"You're not going, Naruto," Tsunade shouted.

"I don't care who you are," Naruto said. "I'm going to find them."

"Not if I break your legs," she threatened. "I'll just heal them when you come to your senses."

"I'd like to see you try."

After a bit of arguing, she saw that it was futile as his eyes started to change.

"Okay, but if you die I'm going to kill myself so I can rip you apart in the afterlife. You're going to need some help but since you're going, I can't spare my top Jonin."

"That's fine," Naruto said. "I'll take Kiba, Lee, and Choji."

"Okay," she said.

Naruto headed to the village gates as Tsunade sent the ANBU out to tell Kiba, Lee, and Choji to meet Naruto there.

"You guys ready?" Naruto asked as they met at the gates.

"Yes," they all said.

"I have brought these badges…" Lee started.

"Badges?" Kiba asked. "We don't need no stinkin' badges!"

"Now, Kiba, smell my finger," Naruto said.

"What?" Kiba asked confused as an equally confused Akamaru barked with him.

"Do you know where this finger's been?" Naruto asked. "If you can't track them with this then there's no tracking them."

Kiba begrudgedly sniffed the finger to find a very surprising scent.

"Anko?"

"What?" Naruto asked confused until he remembered that he fell asleep in the Hokage's office as she had Anko guard Naruto. "Shit, well smell this one."

Kiba smelled the finger and got their scent, they traveled through the forest and reached the point where Pretty Painful entered the building.

"The scent stops here," Kiba said.

"Hello, Naruto," said a familiar voice from behind them.

They turned around and Naruto received a blast from the past.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke stood with four other men and they all had strange looks in their eyes.

"How've you been?" Sasuke asked with a warm smile on his face.

"I should ask you that," Naruto said. "What are you doing here?"

"This is our home, Naruto. This is where it will all begin."

"Where what will begin?" Choji asked.

"Oblivion," said one of Sasuke's companions. "True oblivion, the only way to end the misery in the world."

"We've heard this song before," Kiba said. "You sound like…"

"Nagato?" another of his companions asked. "His views were admirable albeit incomplete. He wanted to achieve peace what we want is to erase everything and we're nearly there."

**MESSAGE FROM lulamaemobster**

**SORRY FOR THE WAIT EVERYONE, I GOT CAUGHT UP THE DAY I WAS WRITING THIS AND PLANNED TO MAKE UP WITH TWO CHAPTER UPDATES BUT SOMETHING WONDERFUL HAPPENED. I FINALLY FOUND A WAY TO MAKE MY COPY OF FINAL FANTASY VII WORK ON MY PSone AND I'VE BEEN PLAYING IT EVER SINCE. SORRY BUT I'LL MAKE SURE I GIVE ONE TO SEPHIROTH JUST FOR YOU GUYS.**

**;-)**


	8. Sasuke's Sermon

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors Episode 40 Sagewriter91**

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors was at the summit of Mt. Fan Fiction trying to keep warm in the blizzard that enveloped them.**

"**Fuck!" Morristofoxes shouted. "It's cold."**

"**Hey, get mad at Kage Bijuu," ravercozy said. "I wanted to take the Ultimate Alliance Jet but he said he never climbed mountain."**

"**No, no, no," Kage Bijuu said. "Adngo 714 knew about this place and didn't warn us about how cold it was, that was dick move."**

"**I guess me grabbing this big ass jacket wasn't the first clue," Adngo 714 said sarcastically.**

"**Well, remind me to kick you in the nuts for this when we get back," lulamaemobster requested.**

"**Hey, what's the cave?" Blame Truth asked.**

"**We're here," Adngo 14 said.**

**They entered the cave and found an old sage writing on his computer.**

"**I've been expecting you," he said not even looking at them.**

"**Whoa," Uzumakie said. "Can you tell the future?"**

"**No, Adngo instant messaged me. Where's Blame Truth?"**

"**Right here," Blame Truth said stepping forward.**

"**Well, let's give this pendant a look," Sagewriter91 said.**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Sasuke's Sermon**

"Listen, Sasuke," Naruto said tightening his forehead protector. "I can see that you're mixed up in this somehow and, as most manga villains, you're probably not going to tell me where the girls are if I ask so I'm going to hurt you until you do."

"I don't think it'd matter if I did tell you," Sasuke said still maintaining his smile as it began raining. "By this time, they're probably seeing things the same way that we do but, to be honest, I'd love to spread the gospel to you, my old friend."

"You guys stay out of it," Naruto told his friends. "This jackass has had this coming since he put that hole in my chest."

"Whatever," Kiba said as Akamaru barked in agreement.

"As you wish, Naruto," Lee said. "But we will be right here."

"We got your back," Choji said as he pulled out bag of chips.

Sasuke and Naruto stepped forward to face off for the first time since the last time.

"Yeah, bring it," Naruto said as they began to circle each other. "Bring it on."

Naruto began by throwing a kick to Sasuke's head, it wasn't anything hard, just enough to test him out and Sasuke passed as he ducked it to throw an uppercut to Naruto's face that he caught. Having a firm grip on Sasuke's arm, Naruto used his chakra to run up a nearby tree and come down in an attempt to break it. Sasuke was able to dodge it but Naruto noticed that something was different, he grabbed Sasuke by the collar and looked at him in the eyes.

"Where's your Sharingan?"

Sasuke just smiled at him and Naruto realized what it was that bothered him, it wasn't just that the Sharingan wasn't there, it was that there wasn't anything there. As far as Naruto could see, there was bizarre emptiness within Sasuke's eyes.

"What's with him?" Naruto thought as the look got to him.

Knowing that there was something bigger than them at stake, namely his stash, Naruto switched back to ass kicking mode and slammed his former friend to the ground. He got on top of him and started a ground and pound session until Sasuke reversed it and placed his arm in a kimora.

"Let me ask you a question," Sasuke said.

"Shoot," Naruto said from behind.

Sasuke turned around and saw Naruto giving him a well placed kick to the face as the clone underneath him dispersed. They watched as Sasuke picked himself up off of the ground with that smile still intact as the rain washed the blood off of his face.

"What is it that makes you fight for that village so hard?" Sasuke asked.

"Because there are people there who really care about me," Naruto answered assuredly.

"Do they?" Sasuke asked. "Think about it, you fight to keep them safe and you inevitably die doing it. After that, life goes on and, eventually, the only reason anyone will remember is because they put your name on a rock. That is nothing more than a slow descent into oblivion, why not go for true oblivion now?"

"What fuck are you talking about?" Kiba asked. "Hey, Naruto let me take a crack at this asshole."

"No," Naruto said. "I'm gonna put him away for good, this shit he's spitting stinks too bad."

Naruto dug around in his ninja pouch and pulled out a kunai that he seemed to displease him.

"Has anyone seen my bigger knife?"

Naruto decided that he didn't need it and renewed his attack on Sasuke while the others watched, that's when the building that Pretty Painful entered appeared next to them.

"Where the hell did this building come from?" Choji asked.

"It's as if it appeared out of nowhere," Lee said. "Gai-sensei would call this a total mindblower."

The doors opened and they watched as each member of Pretty Painful came out with the same look on their faces that Sasuke had.

"Are you okay," Naruto asked instantly forgetting about Sasuke.

They ignored him completely and headed in what seemed to be the direction they came from towards the Leaf Village.

"Follow them," Naruto shouted to his friends. "I'll handle this."

The duel continued with Naruto trying to defeat Sasuke once and for all while Sasuke continued to try and convince him.

"Don't you remember how I was when I left?" Sasuke asked. "I was consumed by hate and vengeance but that is no longer the case, I can see now that vengeance, like everything else, is pointless. I killed my brother then I killed Danzo and all that I could think of was to kill this person or that person, it never ended. If I hadn't found my new friends, I'd have just been seeking people to kill until one of them killed me. It's the same as you, Naruto, you'll continue to seek the approval of the people in the village until you die."

"Shut up!" Naruto shouted as he unleashed the Naruto Uzumaki Barrage on Sasuke.

Naruto just watched as Sasuke got back up off of the ground with the rain washing his face clean once again.

"It's just a waste of time to take part in this futile cycle, why not give in to oblivion?"

Listening to Sasuke speak, Naruto realized that he was afforded a grand opportunity and decided to take Sasuke up on his offer.

"That's enough, I want to know what the hell you're talking about."

"Gladly," Sasuke said smiling. "Right this way."

As they went inside, Kiba, Choji, and surprisingly Lee had trouble keeping up with Pretty Painful.

"What the fuck?" Kiba asked. "It's a good thing I can smell them or we'd never be able to follow them."

"It is as if they have thrown caution to the wind," Lee said. "Whatever happened to them inside must have been horrible."

"It doesn't matter anyway," Choji said. "They're heading towards the village, we'll just catch up to them there."

"I don't know" Kiba said. "Did you see their faces? They had the same look on their face that Sasuke had."

"I am sure that it is nothing," Lee assured.

Pretty Painful arrived at the village gates and, being part of the village, they were allowed access. Once inside, they smiled at each other as it began raining within the village.

**MESSAGE FROM lulamaemobster**

**HEY, GUYS, MAKE SURE YOU STOP IN A BLAME TRUTH'S PAGE AND HOLLA AT HIM, SEE YA, SPACE COWBOY.**

**BANG!**


	9. Message

**MESSAGE FROM lulamaemobster**

**Hey readers, this is lulamaemobster. I'm just checking in to let you know I haven't forgotten about you it's just that my job and my screenwriting have taken up a lot of time lately. I currently have the internet at home but now I need a new computer so, once I jump that hurdle, I and the Lula Mae Mafia will be back. Don't forget to message me if you feel like speaking or have any questions**

**See ya Space Cowboy.**

**Bang!**


	10. Kai Shoryu

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Kai Shoryu**

Kiba, Choji, and Lee arrived at the Village Gates to find them unguarded surprisingly, they looked around as it rained on the seemingly deserted village.

"What the hell is going on here?" Choji asked so worried that he put his bag of chips away to reach for his kunai. "You got anything, Kiba?"

"Yeah, I can smell people, right Akamaru?" Kiba asked receiving a bark of confirmation. "But you ain't gonna like the other thing I smell."

"What?" Lee asked.

"Things I shouldn't be smelling, at least not in this village unless there was an invasion or something," he explained. "Things like blood and tears and not like Lee and Guy-sensei talk about constantly."

At that moment, they heard a noise coming from an alley between a couple of buildings, they went to check it out to find a small figure running from them causing them to follow.

"Be careful," Lee warned. "People have been reporting strange figures since this whole ordeal began."

They followed the figure until it led them to an apartment, they tried to open the door to find it locked.

"Check the window," Kiba said. "I can smell people in there."

Choji checked the window but it was covered up on the inside.

"Okay, I'll break it down," Lee said.

He gave the door a kick cracking it but failing to open it due to the barricade on the other side.

"Stand back," Choji said. "Partial Expansion Jutsu!"

The door broke down to find a group of children in the room being guarded by Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon.

"Kiba?" Konohamaru asked as he had a Rasengan ready. "What are you gonna do?"

"What do you mean?" he asked. "What's going on?"

Konohamaru studied them and could see that they didn't mean them harm.

"This village has gone crazy," Konohamaru said putting his Rasengan away.

"People have been killing each other left and right," Moegi said. "The only safe thing to do seems to be to stay out of sight."

"What happened?" Choji asked.

"I don't know," Udon said. "The shinobi and villagers alike are just going insane, they don't seem to even recognize anyone. Or, more accurately, it's like they're seeing something or something else."

"A genjutsu," Kiba said.

"Yeah and it seems powerful," Udon said. "Even the Jonin are unable to dispel it, this is bad."

"How are you three unaffected?" Kiba Lee.

"It seems as if the younger people in the village are free of it," Konohamaru said. "We and the other Genin are held up throughout the village, you three had better stay here or else you'll get caught up in whatever's going on out there."

"First thing's first," Kiba said taking charge as the shinobi with the most experience leading a team. "We've got to reset the defenses before we do anything else."

Meanwhile, Naruto was being led through the home by Sasuke to what he expected to be his uncle.

"Here he is," Sasuke said to Naruto before opening the door. "He's going to be interested in meeting you."

Sasuke opened the door and Naruto was shocked at what he found, it wasn't the older man he expected but a man in his twenties.

"Who the fuck are you?" Naruto asked.

"This is Kai Shoryu," Sasuke said. "This is the man that's shown us the way."

"It's an honor to meet you," Kai said. "The boy who worked miracles, isn't that what they call you in the Leaf Village after you saved them from Nagato?"

"What about it?"

"Nothing, I just think it's weird that you had to save them from certain doom for them to finally appreciate you, even if it's for what you've done for them and not just for you."

Naruto grew annoyed as he knew what he was trying to do.

"Listen, that shit's not going to work on me," Naruto snapped. "Now tell me what you want or I'll take you back to the village and fuck you in the street."

"Come on," Kai said. "We're practically relatives and that's how you talk to me?"

"What do you mean," Naruto asked confused.

"I guess if you'd call me anything, I'm a clone of your uncle. You know Orochimaru, don't you?"

Hearing this name, Naruto and, surprisingly, Sasuke looked at each other.

"This fuckin' guy again?" Naruto asked.

"It doesn't end with him," Sasuke added.

"Anyway, your uncle died long ago but Orochimaru took his DNA and…"

"Placed it in babies and you were the only to survive the process," Naruto interrupted. "You inherited his abilities and blah blah blah."

"Yes, I was then placed within a division of what you may know as Root that no one in the Leaf Village other than Danzo himself knew about."

"What about my uncle?"

"Fortunately for him, the inevitable came and he was able to escape this life," Kai explained. "He may have defeated countless shinobi but he couldn't defeat death, not even Orochimaru or the immortals of the Akatsuki could."

"You won't either if you don't tell me what this is all about, unc," Naruto threatened.

"Gladly," Kai said. "What I, forgive me, we want is to end all of this. Nagato had it correct that pain will always exist but where he took the wrong turn was in thinking that it was people that caused pain. Pain and pleasure like hate and love are not opposites but two sides of the same coin, what makes one happy makes another anguish. The opposite of having a coin is not having the coin and that's what we're going to do, we're going to take the coin away. We're going to end it all."

"You know," Naruto said bringing their attention back to him standing as still as can be with his eyes closed. "I miss the days of when I first started out when ninjas were just assholes like that son of a bitch with no eyebrows."

Kai watched as Naruto's eyes opened showing the signs of sage mode, in a blink of an eye Naruto launched an attack against his uncle. Naruto was about connect until Sasuke intervened and took the blow for his new leader, Naruto had a slight grin on his face from laying one on his rival as Sasuke picked himself up after being laid out. Sasuke stared at Naruto and the eyes of the sage were locked onto the Mangekyo Sharingan for the first time.

**MESSAGE FROM lulamaemobster**

**I'M BAAAAAAAAACK**


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